


Mission Flirtable

by RunWithWolves



Series: 30 Days of Cupcake [4]
Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: F/F, so many bad oneliners
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-15
Updated: 2016-09-15
Packaged: 2018-08-15 06:13:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,287
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8045425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RunWithWolves/pseuds/RunWithWolves
Summary: Super spy Laura Hollis just had to get stuck with the most infuriating partner ever in the form of one Carmilla Karnstein. She's never tidy, never follows the rules, and flirts with every girl they cross paths with.  Fine. Laura can deal with it. But when Carmilla makes a bet that she can get through a laser field faster than Laura, there's no way Laura is going to let her win. 
But Carmilla never plays fair.





	Mission Flirtable

**Author's Note:**

> I don't even know what this is.   
> I'M TOO EXCITED ABOUT SEASON 3 DROPPING TONIGHT. ACT 1. AHHHHHHHH

Of all the spies in the entire Canadian C17 division, why did she have to get paired with Carmilla Karnstein? They’d told the students upon their initiation into the program that their partners would be chosen by a highly crafted algorithm based on a series of tests and observations to determine optimal partner fit and yet Laura had still somehow been placed with the most annoying of the lot. 

When they’d first met Carmilla had simply stared at her from overtop her sunglasses, ignored her offered handshake, and said, “You're the one who was hiding behind all the corners with fingerguns, pretending to be James Bond on the first day. You know he’s not real, right? I don’t work with amateurs.” 

“How did you? No-one was? That was six years ago!” Laura had spluttered.

Carmilla had given Laura the first of a series of infuriating smirks, “Articulate too. Wow. You’re one heck of a partner there, 007.”

“I was top of the class,” Laura had objected, “You were lucky to be paired with me. I don’t even know who you are? Did you even go to class? I don’t think I ever saw you.”

“Of course you didn’t,” Carmilla had said, “I’m a spy. We don’t all need to be the overachieving teacher’s pet.”

“I am not a teachers pet!” Laura had said. 

Carmilla had just walked away, throwing one last quip over your shoulder “At least you’ll be nice to look at cutie. Perfect for keeping the van running while I take care of things, pretty girls are always a good motivator to make it back alive.”

It had only gotten worse from there. Laura had practically had to fight tooth and nail to get keep Carmilla anywhere near the mission plans. Half the time she was busy dragging Carmilla away from whatever pretty girl was nearby and getting only a “Awww. You don’t have to be jealous, cupcake. You know you’re my only love.” From Carmilla for her trouble.

At least this time, there were no pretty girls for Carmilla to flirt with. 

They were alone in a small hallway with doors on each end and even Carmilla couldn’t find anyone to flirt with when there was literally no-one around. The guards were gone, distracted by whatever commotion Danny and Kirsch had decided to cause in the main ballroom. Laura winced as a loud thump echoed through her earpiece before Laf changed the frequency. Carmilla chuckled beside her. 

“Alright guys,” Laf said, “Perr keeping an eye on the party but I’m betting you only have twenty minutes to get in and out. We can’t miss this. It’s probably our only chance to get this flashdrive.”

“Twenty minutes. That gives us ten to get through the hallway,” Laura said immediately. She hit the release on her belt, detaching from the steel cable that she’d used to drop from the laundry shoot above them. 

Carmilla just dropped her entire harness on the ground instead and Laura had to bite her tongue to avoid mentioning protocol. It didn’t help. Carmilla raised an eyebrow and grinned, “Problem, cutie?”

“It’s nothing.” Laura ground out.

“Well,” Carmilla shrugged but gave Laura a knowing look, “Better stop dilly dallying then. I hear we only have five minutes for this part and I know how slow you are at this.” She leaned back against the wall, gesturing to the empty hallway. 

“Please,” Laura said, “We both know that I’m the best at this.”

She shouldn’t have ignored the glint in Carmilla’s eye, “Bet I can do it faster than you.”

“No way, Karnstein,” Laura said, stowing her equipment. Properly. Unlike some people. 

“Fine. If you’re so sure then,” Carmilla dangled an aerosol can from her fingers, “if you do it faster, I’ll clean the C17 dormroom just like you’ve been begging for weeks. Top to bottom.”

“Even the shower drain?” Laura demanded, “There is so much hair in there and you never clean it’s so gross.”

Carmilla nodded and Laura immediately went to snatch the can. Carmilla pulled it away, “But if I win, then I get to kiss you.”

Laura froze, “What? Why. Why would you even want to do that?”

Carmilla winked, “You can’t possibly be that uptight, cutie. When one girl thinks another is pretty, they often engage in, what I believe that fanfiction drivel you read would refer to as, passionate locking of -”

“I got it!” Laura shouted. She snatched the can, wishing that being a spy somehow came with the ability to not blush. “I’m going to win anyway, so who cares what you want. Deal. bet’s on. I’m going to get a clean shower for the first time in months.”

She waited for the witty comment but Carmilla said nothing as Laura carefully took a step forward and started spraying the can through the air. As she passed the can up and down, red lasers become visible. They peppered the hallway, creating a mess of lines that were nearly impossible to pass through.

Nearly. 

Taking a deep breath, Laura hooked the can onto her belt and stepped over the first laser while ducking under another. She twisted to avoid a third and with a careful hop, managed to land a few steps inside the laser net. 

“You know,” Carmilla called, “Considering how you stumbled on nothing on that mission when we were just walking in Sweden, it’s amazing that you can do this at all.”

“It wasn’t nothing,” Laura hissed and shimmied to her left, “there was a trip wire.”

“Oh yes,” Carmilla drawled, “because it makes perfect sense for a trip wire to be in the middle of a field.”

Laura ducked under another laser, pausing to respray the air, “Would you please be quiet? I’m trying to focus,” she snapped. 

In her peripheral, she could see Carmilla raise her hands and slump back against the wall, something shiny flashing behind her. Turning her attention back to the lasers, Laura stepped and ducked over the next few. Then things got difficult, she dropped to her stomach and quickly crawled across the floor underneath a red beam. The next wasn’t as easy. With a beam close to the floor and limited space, Laura was forced to inch her hands and feet together, butt sticking up into the air but not quite high enough to hit the laser above her. She had just moved her hands over the low laser, leaving her bent in half with her feet on one side and hands on the other when Carmilla struck. 

She should have known better than to trust a quiet Carmilla Karnstein.

“You know, cupcake,” Carmilla called, her voice casual, “I always love to watch you leave but I’ll admit that the view is even better this time around.”

Even though Laura was upside down, when she peered back between her legs she could easily make out Carmilla staring at her butt. 

“Carmilla,” Laura warned. 

It had the opposite effect. Carmilla’s eyes lazily traveled down her legs to meet her eyes. She saw the idea spark just seconds before the words easily rolled off Carmilla’s tongue, “While I don’t mind looking at your pretty face through your legs, I’d prefer if you were between mine.”

Laura’s gaze snapped away and she forced herself to focus on pulling her legs carefully forward and straight up into a handstand. Every moment feeling as though it was pulling Carmilla’s eyes to her. When her shirt slipped slightly, she fought the urge to pull it back up. Instead, she grabbed the can on her belt, arms tense.

Surprisingly, Carmilla didn’t go for an ab related comment. 

Laura almost felt disappointed. But she didn’t. She definitely didn’t want her partner ogling her abs. Her objectively extremely attractive abs. 

Arm trembling as she held her entire body weight on one arm, Laura sprayed the can over the next set of beams. The lowest pass of the aerosol landed on the floor, leaving it covered in light shine of liquid. 

“Fishsticks,” Laura muttered, “Got the floor wet.”

She’d forgotten about the mic. Carmilla’s voice practically purred, “Don’t worry about it, cupcake. You don’t need that can to get me wet.”

Laura choked, covering the sound by flipping her legs out, moving over the laser, and landing on one foot. 

“If I set these off,” she growled and spun on her single foot to face her partner, “Be aware that I’m blaming you in the incident report and the bet is off.”

Carmilla gave her the two fingered salute.

She eyed the wall, only a few beams coming directly off it with most of them ending on the floor or ceiling, “What’s my time?” she asked. 

“No idea, I can’t keep my eyes off of you to check my watch.” Carmilla said. 

With a growl, Laura lunged at that wall. She impacted midway up the wall, firmly planting her boot and using it to launch through the last batch of lasers. She grabbed her knees and tried to pull herself into the smallest ball possible as the last laser can flying at her. A twinge of heat brushed the side of her leg and Laura’s breath caught even as she unfurled from her ball. She landed on her feet, momentum throwing her forward and into the far wall before she could catch her balance. 

She froze with her face still planted in the far wall. 

“Did the alarm go off?” she whispered in her mic.

“You’re good cupcake,” Carmilla said and Laura sighed with relief. She peeled herself off the wall as Carmilla added, “Well, mostly good.”

Laura whirled around, eyes wide, only to see Carmilla pointing at her legs. There was a large hole in the fabric where they black pants had been burnt away from just grazing one of the lasers. 

“Don’t worry about it,” for a moment Carmilla almost sounded sincere. Then she added, “You can get a new pair from my closet. Special deal just for you. All pants are 100% off. Preferably because they’re on the floor.”

“You’re infuriating,” Laura rubbed the bridge of her nose.

Carmilla shrugged, “You like it.”

“I most certainly do not!” Laura started.

Carmilla just grinned at her from across the room, “What about that time in that cave in the Yukon when you were saying all of those nice things and-”

“We were gonna die!” Laura cut her off and threw her hands in the air. “Let’s focus on more important things. Like, say, you doing that in…” she checked her watch, “less than 4 minutes.”

“No problem.” Carmilla said, still leaning against the wall. 

“Oh come on,” Laura said, “Even if you were distracting me, my time was great.”

“So you admit that I’m distracting?”

Laura’s eyes widened, “I said nothing of the sort.”

“Sure, 007.” Carmilla said, “Very smooth.”

Crossing her arms, Laura fought the urge to stamp her foot, “Yeah. Well. I could be distracting too.”

She wasn’t sure if Carmilla’s smirk was sexy or just infuriating or some weird combination of both, “While I’m certain that you absolutely could be extremely distracting,” Carmilla’s voice was doing things. Raspy and husky things that it had no right to be doing, “the only thing that could keep me from making it across that hallway in less than thirty seconds is if you started stripping.”

For the briefest second, Laura actually considered it. 

“But that’s not going to happen,” Carmilla continued, “Because I’m going to distract you one last time and then I’m going to walk across the room and claim my prize.”

Laura lifted her chin, “Yeah right. All talk. No action.”

“Oh, I’m full of action,” Carmilla said it like a promise. 

“Prove it.”

There was a pause. It lingered in the air as their eyes met across the hallway and something that Laura hadn’t seen before, slid across Carmilla’s face. Something softer. Something that almost seemed vulnerable. Scared.

“Laura,” Carmilla said, “You’re beautiful.”

Laura froze. She froze the moment Carmilla said her name because Carmilla never said her name. Then the feeling of sincerity in the statement itself hit her in the chest. Her mind raced, trying to figure out what Carmilla’s game was or if there even was a game. Disparate images and ideas clashing into each other. She was vaguely aware of a crashing sound but even that wasn’t enough to drag her back to reality. 

Until Carmilla kissed her. Full on the mouth. Hard and fast and messy. Laura was kissing her back before she could think not to. Pushing back and up into Carmilla. 

Then her brain caught up and Laura ripped herself away. 

“What?” she said, upset to find herself out of breath. 

Carmilla didn’t sound much better, all heavy exhales from behind her smirk, “Just claiming my prize, cutie.”

Laura shook her head, trying to clear it, “How did you get across so quickly?”

Carmilla shrugged, “Oh. Just broke into the circuit box and disconnected the wires. Put the lasers out right away.”

Laura’s eyes bugged out of her head as she darted to the side and stared across the room. There is was. A shiny silver panel with a Carmilla-baton sized dent in it. A shiny silver panel that Carmilla had spent the entire time slouching in front of. 

Intentionally.

So that Laura couldn’t see it. Just so Laura would have to. And then Carmilla could. Oh. 

Oh no. No way.

She spun back towards Carmilla but before she could get a word out, her partner booped her on the nose and said, “If you were a laser, my 007, you’d be set to stunning.”

Then Carmilla winked and strode out of the hallway. 

“Oh, you are so dead.” Laura shouted and raced after her.

**Author's Note:**

> Rude, flirty Carmilla says hello. 
> 
> As always, thank you so much for your kudos and comments and [tumblr stop-ins](http://ariabauer.tumblr.com/). They never fail to make smile. Good luck surviving the new season tonight <3 <3 <3
> 
> This is the fourth story of '30 Days of Cupcake' where I'll be posting a unique Carmilla fanfic every weekday for 30 days. Stay stupendous. Aria.


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